The Realities of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Kelliann D’Ambrosio, Verrazzano Class of 2025, completed major in English Literature and Writing, and minor in Italian

My capstone was broken into two parts. One of these parts was a collection of poems centered around my experience with OCD, dissociation, and anxiety. This includes, but is not limited to, my day-to-day struggles with intrusive thoughts and verbal tics. My research portion was centered around the argument that there needs to be a shift in the way OCD is viewed within society and within the way it is treated, as there seems to be a lot of misunderstanding surrounding what OCD actually entails.

In order to support this, I looked for research on different treatments, the symptoms associated with OCD, the likelihood of those with OCD to develop a different mental illness, and the experiences of family members for individuals who have OCD.

I identified these areas for my research and poetry because I suffer from OCD myself. I wanted to provide a creative exploration of my personal experience while also including a research component that explored experiences with OCD at large.

I expected this capstone to be difficult and, in that aspect,, I was correct. However, I was unaware how much I was going to learn from this capstone. When writing my poems, I had this idea in mind that I knew exactly what I was going to write and how I was going to write it. Instead, I ended up surprising myself by expressing my experiences with mental illness in ways I had never considered before, whether that be through my language or through the forms I employed.

Regarding my research component, I was surprised that I was truly able to learn about OCD outside the confines of my own experiences. For instance, I was able to find research that supports the effectiveness of family-inclusive therapy. I was also able to learn that those who have OCD can be highly likely to also develop some other type of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety.

If I were to further to expand on this topic within my poetry, I would like to become more experimental and allow myself to further explore forms that I have not worked with before. To further expand on my research component, I would be interested in exploring different methods of OCD treatment. Overall, this research experience has left me with a sounder confidence in my abilities as a poet as well as a desire to explore OCD from a more research-based perspective.