Anxiety and Art: Awareness in Self-Portraiture

 

 

Cynthia Sinodinos, Verrazzano Class of 2020, completed major in Photography & minor in Art History

I knew I had to take advantage of the Capstone project to make a meaningful work of art that would not only help myself but others as well. I wanted to take this opportunity to create something powerful with all the knowledge of art and photography that I have accumulated over my college career, and also to push myself out of my comfort zone.

By studying my own mind and body through self-portraiture, I explored the symptoms within myself to create them in visual form. I discovered that although our individual situations ultimately vary, our overall struggles remain indistinguishable: feeling like prisoners in our own bodies, feeling extremely limited by our thoughts and emotions, and feeling alone. It remains important to me that I encourage the spread of awareness, and to open conversations in hopes to blur these boundaries of isolation. As someone who experiences high anxiety and knows many who struggle as well, I have come to see the importance in sharing experiences. Throughout this process, I sought to push myself out of my comfort zone during each shooting session to exposed true vulnerability. As a result, my self-portraits materialized the uncomfortable isolated battle with anxiety. They revealed the beauty, fragility, and delicacy of femininity juxtaposed with the raw, brutal, unrefined restrictions anxiety holds over the mind and body.

My anxiety was elevated to new levels this past year and just as I felt I was finally at peace with myself and the world, the coronavirus pandemic stirred things up within me that I thought I had laid to rest. If there is anything I have learned from this project it is how important it is to remember who you are, how far you have come, and how much you have accomplished in moments of doubt and worry. It is important to remember that we have all the answers we need within ourselves but also that we are not alone in anything we do. I am extremely proud of this project and all it has taught me throughout its process. I hope to continue to express myself through self-portraiture and expand this project even further. I am excited to see where this project will take me in the future and hope it may bring some hope and insight to others.